New Jokes

April Fools Round Up

The Guardian announces that after 188 years of ink on paper, it's decided to become the first newspaper in the world to be published exclusively through the internet messaging service, Twitter.
 

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04/02/2009

Computer Tech Support

This should make you feel better about your computer skills! 

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27/01/2009

New Boots!

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to New Mexico.
Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.

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27/01/2009

News Item

A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'. 

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16/01/2009

Ooops!

A young man moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.

While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe.

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16/01/2009

Snow joke!

Two snowmen walking down the road.... 

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21/12/2008

How Not To Park On Ice

As seen recently on Top Gear!

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02/12/2008

Does Santa Exist? The Scientific Approach

1. No known species of reindeer that can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer (which only Santa has ever seen.)

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09/11/2008

The Atheist and the Bear

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the "accident of evolution" had created.

What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals, he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look and saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging toward him.

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23/10/2008

Body Statistics

Interesting Body Statistics...

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14/10/2008

Financial News

The knock on from the recent US sub prime market problems, that hit Northern Rock among others, shows no signs of letting up. In fact it has now badly affected the banking system in Japan.

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10/10/2008

World Origami Championships

Setanta has just won the rights to broadcast the World Origami Championships...

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10/10/2008

Smart Ar*e Answer of the Year Awards

In 6th place
It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row. "What are my choices?" the man asked. "Yes or no," she replied.  
 

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07/10/2008

John Motson Quotes

"And Seaman, just like a falling oak, manages to change direction"

"Nearly all the Brazilian supporters are wearing yellow shirts - it's a fabulous kaleidoscope of colour"

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18/09/2008

10 Blondes and a Red Head

11 women were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest. Ten were blonde, one was a red head.
 

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01/09/2008