July 2008

The Best 'Dear John' Letter Ever

A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:

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28/07/2008

Peanuts

A man walked into a bar and starting hearing voices behind him saying
"Oh,dosn't that coloured Jacket suit him",
"Oh he's so handsome."

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26/07/2008

Feeding Time At The Zoo

A zookeeper starts work at his new job on a Friday to break him into things before a fresh week. For his first duty he is sent to clear out the aviary.

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22/07/2008

Dicks Parrot

Dick received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive..Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude.

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20/07/2008

The Blind Mans Blonde Joke

A blind man and his guide dog enter a Bar and find their way to a bar stool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

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17/07/2008

Things You Don''t Want To Hear During Surgery

Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

Someone call the janitor and tell him to bring a mop.

Wait a minute. If this is his spleen, what's that?

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17/07/2008

Kevin Keegan Quotes

‘It’s like a toaster, the ref’s shirt pocket. Every time there’s a tackle, up pops a yellow card.’

‘The ref was vertically 15 yards away.’

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16/07/2008

Simple Problem?

Try to solve this problem.......

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15/07/2008

Hungry Lion

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book the other was typing away on his typewriter.

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14/07/2008

I Can't Feel My Legs

A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, “Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!”

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14/07/2008

The Oddest Game Of Footy Ever?

A match played around Dec '93-Feb '94 between Barbados and Grenada in some cup competition. Barbados needed to win the game by two clear goals in order to progress to the next round. Now the trouble was caused by a daft rule in the competition which stated that in the event of a game going to penalty kicks, the winner would be awarded a 2-0 victory.

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14/07/2008